Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he puts the penis in happiness.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
