so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
