honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
as a side note pls kill me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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