Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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