I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
