Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
