My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
