No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just pee around me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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