David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize