I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize