So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I love you.
Bad choice
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