He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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