thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
