Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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