Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
