exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Randomize
