Porn is love you can see.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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