My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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