Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize