you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
