But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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