There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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