last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
