we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize