is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
