You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
