Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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