Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
