Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize