I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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