Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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