that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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