so that wasnt chicken after all
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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