A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
