if i can run in heels then i can drive
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
