Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
