I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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