I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
