the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
