Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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