She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
