like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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