It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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