Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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