Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
