why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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