Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
