I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
