her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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