lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
