It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
