Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
