I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
