Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
