It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
