Got a toothbrush?
I am puke
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
