yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
