I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
do herpes really smell.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
