I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
