Cold hands, warm shart.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
