They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
